I am so happy this turn... He's come home. He came and found me in my guild as soon as he came home.. only to have to send me a message because I was not home. But as soon as I knew where he was I admit I didn't walk, I ran home. I was so happy to see him, he told me about his trip. I told him about what's been going on here and how different this experience was for me. I told him about all the times I've had trouble with the one I was with being away and it giving me anxiety that I couldn't control or understand... But that I didn't experience it this time. I guess it is because a part of me was sure he would come home to me. We both agree we look forward to what the future holds. It's not often I am hopeful for the future, but he makes me hopeful.

It is sad when something you created, something that was your idea is no longer yours. It's like losing your child to a stranger. I want to yell at the world, I want to cry, yet.. I made a choice.. After all this time, losing that is now the only thing that I regret. Trying to come up with something new, something that is totally mine. Hopefully it will fill the void this loss has left.

My best friends know me far too well, this time it was Lillya. It is amazing really, all I usually have to do is say hi and she knows if I am happy, or if something is bothering me. Usually she will look at me and tell me to spill. I can't help but laugh at how well she really does know my moods. She was the first person my Scales and I told about us, she approved by the way. When she told me to spill I told her I missed him, but that for the first time in... ever, the missing someone didn't cause me anxiety, didn't make my heart race and panic because I hadn't seen their face or heard from them in a certain amount of time. I asked her if she though that means something? She says it does, she said it means a whole lot, that this is different. I like that, that this is different, or perhaps I am...Either way I am still at peace with my decision. And to be so, for this long has never happened to me in my life.